Reduce Anxiety Around your Son/daughters Addiction

I realised one day that I could not control the outcome of my son’s life. There was no drum roll or lightbulb moment. I just knew, from deep within me. There was acceptance in place of the emotional charge and agitation.

As I stopped trying to fix him or change his life path I noticed differences in how I perceived him and his challenges. After time, it was as if he could feel the changes taking place in me. We were not spending much time together but he noticed the difference. Every now and again he would call for an in depth conversation. He was searching for help for his girlfriend. I was trying to fix him and he was trying to fix her. Both trying to control something outside our control.

What I could and can do is my own personal development and healing. I eventually understood it is not my job to control or fix him but by sorting myself out something became easier for him. Our relationship started to improve. My anxiety levels were greatly reduced. I was able to disentangle from the twists and turns of his life. The agony of knowing and not knowing.

Coping with anxiety and lack of control

  1. Get clear on what is in your control and what is not (another person, world situation etc.) It is not going to help reduce anxiety levels if my peace depends on something over which I have no influence. Here are some ideas that may help you get started.✨Create a daily routine and stick to it, include mealtimes, breaks, time in nature, exercise.✨ Consider what you feed your mind and emotions, eg news, social media, people you hang out with. Choose what supports you and minimise or avoid what doesn’t.✨Decide what contact and support you are able to give, free from resentment and negative impact on you.
  2. Start a well-being practice to create calm and presence, rather than the mind spinning off in the past and/or future scenarios. (Become grounded).✨Consider eating fresh, natural foods, unprocessed and organic if affordable.
    ✨Create a room or small area in a room as an oasis/sanctuary. You might include a picture, plant, flowers, crystal, candle, poem/book – any item that will invoke a sense of calm. Spend time here regularly.
    ✨Continue, resume or start an exercise regime, walking is fine as is something more strenuous.
  3. Once grounded you are ready to take the next steps of personal development and healing. This creates lasting positive change.✨Observe with curiosity patterns or behaviours, reactions and habits that are supportive and those that are unhelpful. Record in a journal with words, doodles or any creative outlet. This will help you tap into your subconscious.
    ✨Find a group, course or retreat that will support you on your own unique journey of self-discovery.

If you have any questions, topics or practice ideas you would like me to share email me or post in the Facebook group.

With love,

#addiction #parent #help #support #addict #alanon #not_alanon #recovery