Seeds of Hope for Parents of Addicts

I was born into a chaotic situation. Drama was either playing out, ending, or brewing. To cope I learned to be vigilant. It was my survival strategy and all I could do at that tender age.

The world seemed a hostile and frightening place. Instead of potential I saw danger. Keeping small and invisible was safe. I stopped dreaming. The glass was half empty.

My body felt normal when flooded with stress chemicals. I was safe with a heightened state of awareness and would feed my dependency with drama – my own, friends or loved ones. I was addicted to stress!!

I saw the world the colouring of my childhood. This is what I carried into parenting. I loved my children and did the best I could. Yet I was unable to be fully present or love unconditionally. In my unconsciousness by trying to protect my son, I stifled his dreams.

“We cannot create a new future, by holding on to the emotions of the past.” Joe Dispenza

In the process of healing and unravelling my story I became aware of things I could have done differently. I plunged into the shame, blame and judgement loop. Subconsciously I was avoiding looking at my own issues and feeling and processing supressed emotions. In time I accepted that my parents had done the best they could and were unable to fulfil my needs. This did not make them bad or wrong, it was not personal, simply a fact. Their parents were not able to meet their needs and so it goes back through our ancestral line.

I began to understand and accept the past. Initially with my mind, then much later it became visceral, and I knew from deep within me.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” —Desmond Tutu.

My son had been struggling with addictive tendencies for well over a decade. I could see no way to help him or our relationship. Until… I started zooming out, away from the past and focusing on positive possibilities. Like a seed I scattered it. I fed it with a gentle comment or offer to help and repeated sparingly. Everything changed. It opened a door to a new possibility. What was impossible became possible in a relatively short timeframe. There was hope, ups and downs, twists, and turns and results beyond my dreams.

I would love to hear your story and what supports you. I am gifting 100 complementary well-being calls (30-minute ) for mums who are looking to support themselves and their adult son/daughter as they navigate life with addiction challenges. To schedule a session use this link https://suzanschedule.as.me/well-being

This offer is open to all who are ready and willing to make lasting positive change in their life.

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