Fear of what might happen to my addict son/daughter

Mumma bear wants to hold her son tight and keep him safe. She carried him in her womb and fed him from her breasts. When things started ‘going crazy’ she became more protective. It was hard to let him out into the world and make mistakes. She was unaware that this behaviour was stifling him. He feels she doesn’t believe in him, and it saps his power.

The Mumma bear is a part of me and has her place. She protects her young and would kill if needed to keep them safe. A key performer when the children were young she struggles to cut the cord and trust they will fly.

I am more than the Mumma bear – a wise woman, warrior, peacemaker, and visionary as well as many other parts both negative and positive. My healing journey is to get to know and accept all the parts that make me who I am. Each has a story, a need and often an unheard voice. When I am at peace with all of myself, I see beyond my conditioning. I no longer project my wounds and challenges onto people and events. Life is easier for me and my loved ones.

Now I mostly recognise when Mumma bear is on the prowl and support her the best I can. When she is proud, I remind her not to attach her worth and success on another person. If she is frightened or anxious, I soothe her. Sometimes we listen to music or use essential oils to lift our spirits.

Fear is debilitating and stops rational thinking yet as a parent of an addict it is often present. There are so many triggers:

• Not hearing from my addict son/daughter
• He/she/they might lose their job/home because of addiction
• They may be arrested, jailed
• He/she/they may relapse/has relapsed
• and more… please share your 3 biggest fears

I learned after many years that I cannot control the outcome but can find support and understanding. When I am calm and grounded, I see things differently and can respond rather than react. It is the starting point for deeper transformation and something over which I have control. Here are some of the practices I use to bring me back to the now and feel peaceful.

1. Sound is incredibly soothing and healing. Choose your favourite track or try this. It is called 111hz Michael: Victory from Fear, the frequency is said to transform the energy of fear.

2. Essential oils Frankincense is said to help reduce fear. I also find ylang ylang very calming. They are great in a diffuser filling the room with a beautiful aroma.

3. Colour can have a positive impact on our emotions. Each colour has an energetic frequency and is simple and effective – green for calm, or blue for coolness, orange linked to the solar plexus/fear centre. Experiment and see which works best for you. You can wear, eat, drink, add to your décor, (cushions, pictures, plants), be creative :).

Do you have a Mumma bear or other part that is linked to your relationship with your adult child? Is it time to renegotiate her role? I would love to know, please email me.


#addiction #parent #help #support #addict #alanon #not_alanon #recovery