Archives for August 2021

I Might Not Have Made It…

It could have been very different. I may not have made it this far. The pull of addiction beckoned but even in the depths of my confusion, despair, and darkness I knew deep down it was not for me – not this time anyway… I didn’t have the understanding or later the words to express it but there was something keeping me going.

Beneath my wounding, conditioning and unhelpful habits resides a part of me with great wisdom, my Wise Woman. Untarnished by the ups and downs of life she is a quiet, calm, knowing guide. When I listen to her things go well. I had forgotten this part of me existed but every now and again she would try and make herself known. For decades my mind overrode her. She didn’t give up.

I found her through my yoga practice, walking in nature, in the pauses between thinking, planning, judging, and zoning out. She led me well and here I am sharing with you. Never in a million years did I think this would happen!

You came from nothing into physical form helpless and reliant on others. To navigate life, you developed strategies and behaviours to ensure that you survive, are fed, loved, or shielded from painful feelings and memories. This is when you start of the disconnect from your inner wisdom.

These parts or programmes which are vital to you as a child haven’t been updated. They get in the way of you living life fully as an adult. Next time you get upset or triggered notice your reaction, what age comes to mind? Perhaps you struggle for words or there are no words – possibly linked to preverbal events.

You may have no conscious memory as to why your programmes developed. There may be a transgenerational link. Yet everything is stored within your body. It holds your pain and the answers you are seeking.

“Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory”
Bessel Van Der Kokk

Your body is designed to heal and return to homeostasis. Pain, both physical and emotional, signals something is wrong. Life continues to bring you opportunities to process unfinished business. Events may seem unlinked, unfortunate, coincidental or there may be patterns – ongoing issues with romantic relationships, money, self-worth etc. All are opportunities to heal and be authentically you – not a punishment. The body is signalling it is time to change course. It is exhausting holding onto your wounding and story. I know, I tried extremely hard. Each release felt like it created a new me, lighter, brighter, and happier.

If I can do it you can too! 

Yoga in its fullest sense was my way out of these unhelpful repeating events. Every time I came onto my mat I was guided to connect with my body, then my breath and notice – I discovered my Wise Woman. She is my guide. Our relationship continued to deepen as I expanded my practice with healing and development tools. My trust built. I now trust her above everything. It is my joy and honour to guide you, and others, to connect with your inner wisdom.

Here’s how

Start with one step, something that is manageable and celebrate starting. Before you were oblivious. Now you are aware AND have taken a step towards your goal. It takes as long as it takes. There is no set route or technique. You can take the scenic route or go directly, navigating obstacles, getting stuck in dead ends – it doesn’t matter. I have done all and eventually moved on. Sometimes I would charge ahead, think I was complete only to find something else to consider. All the while I feel better, more alive and my relationships are easier. My sense is that this is a life-long practice, and it feels good. This is my life purpose. To find me and live authentically.

I will guide and support you.

What is your next step? Would group or private sessions best help you? 

Email me to get started.

With love and acknowledgement for all you have experienced, your challenges and potential.

Suzan

Looking For A Hero

Something inside was stirring. I knew there was a way, an answer and was determined to find it! I had my regular yoga practice and was teaching too. Things were better, a lot better… but… As soon as something happened with my son, I was consumed with stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness. There was more to be done!!

I wanted someone with a definitive answer or technique that would make everything fall into place. My quest began. Where was my hero, the magic key to make everything ok? Does that sound familiar ?

My exploration took me to healing therapies, numerology, energy work and more. I trained, had sessions, read, and researched relentlessly.

“The answer lies within ourselves. If we can’t find peace and happiness there, it’s not going to come from the outside.”
Tenzin Palmo

The answer was within – I knew this timeless wisdom… yet I continued to look outside. My mind understood but my subconscious and body were playing out old stories and patterns. And so, my quest for a hero with the answer continued.

A dear friend asked me to co-write an introductory guide to healing modalities. We knew a lot from personal experience and researched more. As we drafted our guide, refined and edited it dawned on me that therapeutic modalities are tools to clear a pathway to our inner wisdom – to the answer within.

The healing journey took me to a point where I could see an issue. On the way I refined my awareness and acceptance. New ways of being, thinking and responding to life developed. I was less restricted by my history and conditioningI noticed it was possible to:

  • Remain calm when triggered.
  • Develop curiosity rather than blame or judge
  • Avoid old reactions/habits.
  • Create new strategies/habits

I continue my healing journey, and this is a life-long commitment. I have the answers within.

✨????✨???? Drum roll – ta dah! ✨????✨????

I am the hero I was looking for.

I call her my Wise Woman. She is ever present, wise, and strong. It feels as if she has been with me since the dawn of time. I trust her implicitly and make time for her with my yoga, reflection and walks in nature.

With her at my side I can maintain healthy boundaries, be compassionate and supportive while prioritising my well-being.

Are you ready to find the answers within ? I will guide and accompany you as you find your inner hero. Email me to get started.

With love and acknowledgement for all you have experienced, your challenges and potential.
Suzan

From Breaking Point to Break Through

My son was 15 and struggling. I was near breaking point. Constantly worrying, my mind racing with possible worst-case scenarios. It became harder to concentrate. I was feeling anxious and irritable with low mood and sense of helplessness. My eating was erratic. Often I wasn’t hungry and would binge on something quick and easy when it caught up with me. My alcohol consumption increased as I enjoyed the numbness and pause in thinking.

Some doctors believe that stress may be responsible for 75% of all diseases in the western world.
Something had to change

What I did next changed the trajectory of my life and led me to being calmer, kinder, wiser and a resource to myself and my son.

I was deeply entrenched in my story and unconsciousness when I realised I had to de-stress. No ifs, buts or later, it was NOW or pay the consequences. In a quiet space a gentle voice guided my body through movement, breathing and relaxation. A sigh of relief waved through my whole being. This was the foundation for my development and transformation. It is yoga but not body, beautiful tie yourself in knots. Yoga in its fullest sense with slow mindful movement, breathing, relaxation, reflection, ritual and more. Being present, grounded and with my body meant I literally was present rather avoiding or fixating on what had or might happen. Gradually this filtered into my daily life.

Calm ( ???? Campaign Against Living Miserably???? )

When relaxed I see more clearly. There is a possibility to respond rather than react with my old patterns. Let’s face it, they haven’t worked so far and are unlikely to now!! This is a journey. It takes time and consistent practice. Change had begun and a calm, relaxed state was the starting point.

Awareness/mindfulness

Time on the mat, noticing my body and breath, taught me to be ok with what was happening. It is safe to be here and now in my body, in this moment. I was on a path of acceptance, curiosity, and willingness to do and see things differently.

The body holds our story

Every thought has a muscular reaction. Unresolved trauma is hidden within our body, often deeply buried and subconscious. I continue to unravel and free tension, holding and trauma energies. I set the pace – when I feel stable and safe, and the time is right. This frees my body, it is more relaxed, my posture improved, and energy flow optimised. I feel better in myself, the world at large and my own world seems a better place. There is a sense of ease and acceptance. Others notice the difference too.

This is the basis for well-being and catalysed my quest to go deeper finding lasting, positive change in all areas of my life.

Are you ready to take the next step ?

Email me to find out more about my group and private online classes.

With love and acknowledgement for all you have experienced, your challenges and potential.

Suzan

#addiction #parent #help #support #addict #alanon #not_alanon #recovery